So its that special time of the year for family and friends worldwide. Many of us are celebrating the birth of Jesus and others are celebrating Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, and just about everything else. It is also the time for us single folk to reevaluate ourselves, whether this reevaluation is voluntary or otherwise. We may see some Christmas engagement rings pop up on our news feeds *shudders", just-born alien looking babies squirming for the camera, or some of our friends show us culinary skills we are only certain she acquired after giving up the heaux heavyweight title and trading it in for "wife." Which leaves me pondering, how do our friends, the ones all booed up for Christmas while we bake for our mothers, get to that point? Some of us lucky ones are dating around and getting to know someone special to figure out if he is our special someone, and some of have already found one worth getting exclusive with. But does he feel the same? Here are five surefire signs he wants you around every day of the year...and maybe longer:
1. He calls you early and often enough for you to rule out "Booty Call."
You call him and hear his voicemail more often than you care to admit. But by the time restaurants have closed and the midnight oil is burning, your phone is ringing and he's ready to order for delivery-booty delivery. If this happens more often than the "Just calling to hear your voice" and "Good morning gorgeous" calls, then in the famous words of MIranda from our beloved series, "He is just not that into you." Guys are straightforward. When he calls, it's because he wants to talk to you. He asks you what you are doing because he wants to see you, and if it just so happens to be at one in the morning, you know what time it is. It may then be time to determine that you are on the same page. If your conversations consist more of "I'm coming, let me get in the shower" than "My day is going well, better since I've spoken to you," then you are more of a part of his workout regimen and not necessarily his mission to wife 'em. On the other hand, if he is calling to check up on you, and if it is once or twice a day, not weekly or monthly, than he wants you around for more than a few hours and romp sessions at a time.
2. His conversations reflect worldly knowledge, not carnal.
Okay, so you get the calls. You two speak, its just that he wants to know what you are wearing. He wants to know your favorite positions, the faces you love making, heels or socks (don't judge), or about that movie you made with your ex in which you gave an Oscar-worthy performance. He can't stop talking about your body, and how incredibly sexy he finds you to be. Then he mispronounces your name for the fifth time, and you get it. You finally understand that the only thing you expects and wants from you is your legs kissing the sky while he goes to town. But what happens after that?
An intrigued or infatuated man wants to know everything from your first tooth falling out to your first kiss, love, and heartbreak. He wants to know about the times you wished for someone like him, whether you are a good cook or great with kids, and if he is really digging you, he wants to reveal the same about himself. He wants to know everything about you that shows him what you may be potentially be like as a mate. He will talk about politics, sports, family, kids, art, music, he may flirt too, but it won't dominate conversation. He is not blind. He recognizes the diamond sitting across from him, as any straight man would, and he is physically attracted to you, but it is one of many reasons why. That is clear in his talk.
3. His friends and family are not just a theory, but a shared reality.
You love the holidays, and you can't wait to be around your mama and cousins. You can't wait to see your Daddy. While you are going on and on about your loved ones, you notice that he grows eerily quiet. Funny. Just yesterday he was your favorite motormouth, but now he's mute. Then you realize you haven't met his crew (or maybe you noticed it before and said nothing). He joked around with your baby sister, hugged your mother and shook hands with Daddy, and yet he's never taken you home to his mama.
By contrast, meet the man who wants you to be his lady. He wants to know how you would mesh in with his brood of loved ones. He wants you to cook with his mama for the holidays, play Monopoly with his brothers and boys, be his nephew's crush. He would love to show his lady off. It is an indicator of where he is headed. If he wants you for more than bragging rights, his family wouldn't be a foreign concept.
4. He is thinking of where you two should be by next Christmas.
Any decent man would always think of the next step. He is not satisfied with mere complacency. He recognizes that while you could have been with anyone else in the world, you chose to be by his side, and he is appreciative of this. What does this actually look like?
He wants to plan for next Christmas. Literally and figuratively, I mean. He wants to constantly see where you could be at the next level, and he has a mental timeline of when things should progress. He realizes that marriage isn't the ultimate step, but that every relationship is a process and he strives to commit. If he can't describe his five or ten-year plan, then he certainly won't be able to articulate concerning you.
5. There is no barrage of questions reflecting your confusion, because he makes everything clear.
I recall dating one man who made me question everything. In the end, I believed nothing. It was his job to make things abundantly clear, because I made clear to him where I stood regarding us. I wanted him. I quickly figured he didn't want me, because he was too wishy-washy. One day, we were hot, and the next, cold. When he really wants you, there may be some bad times, but most times are good. He is clear about how he feels about you, almost to the point where you are not reading random posts about relationship revelations (we're girls, we can't help it). He wants to wife you before someone else does. He'll make that plain.
Welp, that concludes my time. Enjoy your nog and gifts, christmas songs and charades, romance and if you are anything like me, posts like this.
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